Have you ever been hurt by those in the local church?
So often, as Christians, we find ourselves feeling hurt, rejected, misunderstood, or just ignored by other believers, or at times even church leaders. It’s interesting how church folk can get hurt by their own kind.
In this blog, I want to confront the challenges that often affect the unity in the local church. That challenge is mostly offenses that come from one believer to another. Misunderstandings, gossip, and so forth can injure many relationships within the local church and can lead to friends being estranged from each other or even families leaving the church because of the hurt. First, we must understand that in any close relationship, things will be said that can hurt our feelings. Because of the closeness of the church family, it is effortless to find ourselves in situations where we are getting offended by someone’s attitude, a look they give, or gossip. Even though we are supposed to be Christians, we have an adversary who is always looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 states, “Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” This scripture tells us that our flesh nature is fodder for the devil. When we let our carnal nature rise, we become a target for hell to use against one another.
James 4:1-3 states, “Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war, yet you do not have because you do not ask.” Misunderstandings are inevitable amongst believers, but how we handle the situation is up to us. James warns against allowing our old man taking control. Exalting our carnal nature is where divisions and offenses come from. Holding ourselves in check at times can be extremely difficult.
1 Cor. 9:26-27 states, “Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” This scripture warns us of the potential of not keeping ourselves in order. Paul could not let himself get caught up with the flesh nature. He could not allow his old man to rise up with all he had responsibility for. The cost to himself would be tragic. We, as believers, need to look at the big picture always. Luke 17:1 states, that it is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they come. This tells us that hurts and problems will arise, but we need to take heed of ourselves. Verse 3 states, “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him: and if he repents forgive him.” Notice he says to forgive. Jesus goes on in the next verse and says that if he sins against you seven times and repents, you shall forgive him.
There are friendships in the church that sometimes fall on rocky ground. The spiritual attitude of the believers is what will either heal or destroy the relationship. Matthew 18:15 states, “Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Notice that it says between you and yourself, not you and every other congregation member. When you bring others into your hurt, you are sparking a wildfire that could cause a lot of secondary offense. The spirit of gossip is one of the greatest enemies of the church. When believers choose to allow themselves to share others’ offenses, the Spirit of God is truly grieved, and any unity of the believers is broken. The one accord spirit that holds the church under the blessing of heaven has just been defeated.
Romans 1:29 adds that whisperers (Gossips) to the mix of vile things that are an offense to God. In 2 Corinthians 12:20, Paul adds whispers to the list of sins in the church that he will address. These are causing divisions in the church, and he warned the church that he would address and rebuke them. In 1 Timothy 4:11-12, Paul calls them busybodies and idle gossips. Great damage is caused when believers have to wander their opinions into everyone else’s problems. Proverbs 4:23-26 states, “Keep your heart with all diligence. For out of it springs the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put perverse lips far from you. Let your eyes look straight ahead and your eyelids before you.” Guarding our own lives, hearts, and mouths is the responsibility of every believer.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states, “Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up. Does not behave ruddily, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; (this becomes the true test of our mouths); does not rejoice in iniquity (Looking for faults in others to pride ourselves as though we are better and allows us to look down on them so we can confront to “fix” them), but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things (Gives the benefit of the doubt, not already condemning before hearing), hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” If in every conflict we go with genuine humility and love, to clear the air and bring restoration, then victory, either way, will always be ours.
Romans 12:17-18 states, “Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably withal men”. This scripture along with Ephesians 4:2-6, gives us the foundation and the fight to stay focused and not allow offenses to get in the way of our faith walk and worship.
The greatest way to overcome an offense is to stand your ground with the desire to keep the bigger picture in front of you. As mature believers, we must remember that none are exempt from the temptation of offense. But the true test of the growth of our hearts is how we handle them. Proverbs 17:9 states, “He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats (gossips about) a matter separates friends.” When someone hurts you, you have a choice. You can destroy them to everyone else in the church, or you can be the true believer and go privately to them with the true heart of our savior and work to restore a relationship. God is the judge of the hearts, not us. Genuine issues can be brought to Godly counsel to address them correctly, but everything must be done to keep or restore unity.
The church will always have issues. There is no perfect congregation, but there can be a mature church or an immature church. Family can always have issues. There will be those that are divisive, and this is sad. They will need serious pastoral confrontation for true discipline. Some may even have to be removed from the fellowship, but this always grieves the heart of the Spirit and must be done after sincere patience with the full desire to restore.
Believers, if we stand in the true faith that has bought our souls from the kingdom of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of light, then our hearts will be pure, our motives clean, and our goal will always be to keep the unity of the faith in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).
The church is the true revelation of Jesus Christ. Let’s always remember that and do everything in our power to work in love to maintain that unity and love. Remember, the devil is the thief and the destroyer. Guard yourself always, and the victory will be evident, the unity will be protected, and the future of the church and your life will always shine bright.
Blessings,
Pastor Richard Giovannetti
